definella's sanctuary

ang labo ng title ko. kelangan pa ata ng explanation.
                

last year, nung mga panahong active pa ko sa pagpopost at pagbibisita ng mga blogs ng iba. hindi pa ganito ang itsura ng pag "create new post". astig pa yung dati kasi kahit sa cellphone lang nakakapagpost ako.


ngayon, na gusto ko na magbalik.. naiinis naman ako!
nag-upgrade na pala ang blogspot. ganito na ang itsura ng pag "create new post".

we're almost there,

I almost give up,
I planned it weeks ago,
& i thought i'm strong enough...
enough to let you go.

days have passed,
I trained myself to be numb,
I tried not to care,
though honestly it tears me apart.

I love you so much,
and I know you knew that.
but what is love,
if we always fight?

you don't understand my point
and i hardly understand yours.

when I thought there's no more use
in winning our battle,
when giving up is the only way,
I fin'lly decided to end it up.

I keep asking you for a day to meet up,
I even got mad cause you're not riding my plan.
we're not actually fighting that night,
i was the only mad and you were calm.

i hate it. you were different that night,
you ain't picking on me or even
throwing back your anger.

you stayed calm and damned!
for i realized by that moment..

I still love you, and yes... I couldn't afford to loose you.
I love you enough to let you go.



CHAROOOOOTTTTT!!!!
  
basta lang makabitaw ng tula.

again.... its been months since the last time i visited my blog.

**sigh**

maraming nagbago.. sa buhay ko.
sila mismo nagsabi.. nag transform ako.
pero emotionally.. malungkot pa rin.
cause im still head over feet with this guy.

this guy is the reason for everything.
sa umpisa tahimik lang akong nagmamahal sa kanya.
as time goes by.. mas napapalapit na kami sa isa't-isa.


pero di ko maintindihan ang drama niya.
there would come a time na ok kami.
i thought the feeling was mutual and then suddenly... lalamig.
lilipas ang araw magiging ok na naman.. tapos manlalamig na naman.

ang sabi ko sa kanila pagod na ako.
....Oo, pagod na ko.
ang sabi ko sa kanila magmomove forward na ko.
..Oo, tinatry ko.

pero sa tuwing tinatawag niya ang pangalan ko,
lahat ng mga sinabi ko, kinakain ko.


ang masaklap, there is no "us"
hindi MU
hindi magkaibigan
kundi magkatrabaho lang.


lang.



ayoko na. pero gusto ko pa rin siya.
hindi ko alam kung anong nakita ko sa kanya.
hindi siya ideal, aminado ako.
pero bakit siya ang tinitibok nito?